Grief

A few days before she died.

My sick puppy



Our last morning, Sept 12.



hour before she died

Well, where do I start. Its hard to share that my really special pup has died. We adopted Princess almost 10 years ago. We found an ad in the paper and went to look at getting another Miniture Pinscher. We went to a home that ended up being a group home for disabled children. There were at least 5 children. The lady had taken Princess from her mother (probably because of abuse) and just couldn't handle all the kids and dogs. Princess was in heat and I didn't know if I wanted her. Jim had a child pounding on him and he said "give the lady the money and grab the dog". We didn't have the exact amount the lady wanted to so overpaid. We decided she needed it. We always laughed later that we wanted her so bad we were willing to pay more than the asking price. The adjustment was so hard. Princess was a very abused dog. She hated older women but loved kids. However, after years of work she turned out to be the most lovable dog I had ever seen. Princess was doing great. She was older (about 12 years old) but we walked every day. On Labor day Monday we took her for a little drive but she just laid in her bed in the back seat. Didn't look out the window as she normally does. We didn't think too much of it. That next Wednesday, Sept 5, I noticed she was pretty lethargic. We went for a walk but I carried her most of the way. I came home from lunch to check on her but she seemed ok then. Thursday morning, Sept 6, she couldn't walk without falling over and she wouldn't eat. I rushed her to the Emergency vet hospital at 6am. They did blood work and the doctors where confused. Her red blood cells where down to 10. Normal is 35-40. Her liver was way out of wack. They quoted me $2600-3600 to get treatment. They said she needed hospitalization now or she would die. Well, I couldn't pay that kind of money so after much consideration we decided to put her down. I decided to go to our family vet since she was so compassionate with Flynn when we put her down, just a year ago. When I go there they put me in a room and took her and put a catheter in her leg and I said my goodbyes. Dr. Lueth came in and I asked her if I was doing the right thing. She said that since she didn't know what she was dealing with she didn't know. She recommended that I do the ultrasound and the blood transfusion and start her on medicine but then to bring her back to her for care instead of the hospital and it wouldn't cost near as much. By this time I had a migrane (my first one) and was throwing up and didn't know what to do. So, I decided to just do what the doctor recommended. So, I took her back to the hospital and they did the blood transfusion and ultrasound. Dr. Lueth picked her up that night and took her to her house and moniter her and give her fluids all night. She took her to her clinic the next day and we picked her up after work. She still wouldn't eat much us but she would for Dr. Lueth. Dr. Lueth called the next morning and she met us at the clinic and we decided to give her more of the blood transfusion (they couldn't give it all to her because she was to small). Dr. Lueth again kept her the night and we picked her up Sunday morning. Her red blood count had come up to 28. We took Princess back to Dr. Lueth during the day on Monday while we worked. That night her blood count was 25. Tuesday night it was 22. Tuesday night Dr. Lueth told us we only had a couple of days. By Wednesday morning Princess made the decision to give up the fight. She died at 7:45 am Sept 12, 2012. The diagnosis was Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. The immune system was triggered by something (probably her shots 6 weeks earlier) that caused it to kill the red blood cells. The hope was to use prednisone to subdue the immune system so the red blood cells could produce. It didn't work as planned. She went from happily going on walks to dead in a week. I have cried for 9 days now. Its hard to talk about it. I loved that dog like it was my child. I know...she was just a dog. But for me it was different. She depended on me for everything. I was her everything. She loved me like I loved her. I appreciate our vet for doing everything she could for little payment. She undercharged us for everything just so we could try to save her. Anyway, I know I need to move on but it is so hard. The whole week she was sick it was cloudy and rainy. About 10 minutes after she died the sun came out and it has been sunny every day since.